Ok, so I'm not breaking up with Jacob after all. And I'm not in love with Brandon. Mom and I had a good talk. She says that love is something that builds. It's not instant. She explained that I may fall in love with Jacob once I get to know him, and that it's OK to date someone you don't love. She also said that I'll be probably Brandon's age before I know what real love feels like. Until then, it's just my brain and body preparing me for the real thing, so I don't freak out when it happens.
She explained that the weird feeling I have for Brandon is a cousin of love. Admiration. He saved me, and he is a great guy, but love feels 100 times as strong as those feelings. She called it a "crush" before, and she said I can expect to have a lot of those. On older boys, teachers, kids in my class, famous people, anyone. But, she explained, love takes really knowing someone.
So I'll get to know Jacob, and if love shows up, it shows up. No pressure.